Doctor Lily Kwan - Personal Log #1

Keeping this log constitutes a risk, but it's a pretty conservative one, I think - and oh, God, I need to express myself somehow! I've triple encrypted everything, hidden it in a tiny corner of one of Father's servers. His IT guys might be good, but I'm better. Have been since I was a kid. Anyway, it's worth it. If I can't lay my thoughts out in a logical order I really think I might go mad.

Without Mama, it's been so much harder to maintain my balance with Father, to be who I really am. It's only four months since she died and I know she had a good end, as comfortable as Father's physicians could make her. They were so incredibly scared, all of them. Well, who wouldn't be, with the bodyguards watching every procedure, their faces like stone?

Eighty stories up in the Kwan Family Tower, everything's pain free. If Mama had been down there, in the sprawling slums, she would have died by inches, screaming. I wonder if I'd have had the guts to put her out of her misery? People do that these days. They call it mercy and the authorities - such as they are - turn a blind eye.

Up here, it's all so damn clean, so quiet, so calm. I hate it.

No, I HATE it!